Playing with Peers and Making Friends: Tips and Tricks
- 16 minutes ago
- 6 min read
Today's blog is a big different than usual. JJ and I collaborated on a list of ways she has been successful at hosting playdates, making friends, and integrating into her typically developing peer group at school. We thought this might be helpful because even when our children are lucky enough to have a playdate or social time with other children, parents don't always know what to do to facilitate true interaction. After some successes and failures, JJ and I have found some things that seem to work well--at least for her age group (7-10 years). Feel free to try them out and let us know how it goes!
AAC device/Communication:
Add a "news from home" and "news from school" button on your child's communication device that you and the teachers each fill out. Not only can you learn about what your child did in school that day, but your child can share the fun activities and outings they have going on at home. This shows their peers that your child does many of the same things they do and that they might even have interests in common. JJ often shares her news during "morning meeting" time in her gen ed classroom. Bonus: add interactive questions for a more dynamic conversation. Ex: "Last night I went trick-or-treating and traded my sister for all of her Kit Kats, which are my favorite. What is your favorite Halloween candy?"
Create a "My Music" page so your child can request songs they like and bond with other children over shared musical tastes. (JJ and her friends are all staunch Swifties). You can also create personalized favorites pages for food, books, places, etc.
Create a page for each trip or school break (winter break, Spring Break, summer break, etc.). Add buttons for each activity your family did so your child can share about all of the fun they had. Add question buttons so they can ask others what they did on their trip/break.
Add pages so your child can show off their sense of humor. JJ has a page of riddles, a page of knock knock jokes, a page of April Fool's tricks (message me if you would like examples), and a page to roast people. Other children love when she uses these pages to play tricks and tell them jokes.
Add silly phrases and slang buttons anywhere it makes sense on your child's device. These are always a crowd pleaser for us and are often created by JJ's big sister. Examples include: "dude," "I am the queen of the world and you must obey me," "sad trombone sound," and "yeah, baby."
Create a custom "About Me" page with specific age-appropriate info about your child's favorite books, movie, animal, musical artist, interests, etc. Include interactive questions like "What kind of music do you like?" "Do you have any pets?" (Note: We have learned the hard way that not everyone enjoys the "How old are you?" button!) Some classics on JJ's page include "I am super sassy," and "I am a fashionista."
Create an Alexa page and program your Alexa to recognize the voice on your child's device. (Contact me for more detailed instructions if needed). This takes a little finesse but is worth it when your child can DJ for a dance party or delight their friends by asking Alexa to play fart noises.
Facilitating Social Interactions When Out and About
String lights around your child's wheelchair. (You can find cheap fairy lights at your local dollar store). JJ becomes very popular when she shows up at school with pumpkin lights around Halloween time and Christmas-themed lights in December.
Keep a joke button nearby. These are quite easy to hit, and they tell a new joke each time they are touched. We keep JJ's in the bag on her wheelchair and bring it out while at parties or social events so she can "tell" jokes. Kids love it and one can be easily found on Amazon.
Keep stickers nearby for your child to give out to kids whenever they want. We keep JJ's in the bag on her wheelchair. Because she is a Swiftie and likes to bond with other kids her age over this incomprehensible (to me) obsession, she has a stack of Taylor Swift stickers at the ready.
Playdates:
There are many board games that can be played by using dice. An adapted dice roller like the one in this video can allow your child to roll dice for the game by pressing the switch you attach to the roller. (Available on Etsy). Alternatively, there are dice rolling apps on tablets and iPads that are easy to press and need very few fine motor skills or can even be activated by eye gaze. Some dice games that have been successful for us are included in the picture at the top of the page: Farkle, Sorry Diced, Pass the Pigs, and Pizza Party.
Cooking easy recipes together can be fun. The most successful cooking projects for us have been blending up smoothies (the kids can taste test and add their own ingredients) and making dirt cups (nice and messy!).
Playing dressup and putting on fashion shows together have been a big hit. Kids in wheelchairs can still put on accessories like feather boas, necklaces, and tiaras. Then they can be wheeled down a "runway" to show off.
JJ's adapted car has garnered her more attention and street cred than almost anything else in her life. When she was smaller the car could accommodate two children, so a friend could ride along beside her. Now that she is older she rides in the car by herself and her friend either operates it with the remote control or catches frisbees from its frisbee launcher. Our car was built for us by the wonderful team at Geeks For Kids. Go Baby Go also has chapters all over the US.
The most popular game during JJ's playdates has been Pretty Pretty Princess, probably because it is so tactile and easy for all levels and abilities. The goal is to be the first to collect and wear a full set of jewelry (ring, bracelet, earrings, necklace, crown) in your princess's color. We used an app to create an adapted spinner on JJ's tablet so she didn't need the fine motor skills required for the game's original spinner.
Prank kits are a cheap and easy way to have interactive fun. JJ is known for her sass and for playing tricks, and the pranks really let her express that. Kids who come to our house love to explore the pranks and lay traps for unsuspecting adults. (Note: don't accept any invitations from us if you have a cockroach phobia). Pranks include things like fake poop, a fart button, rubber snakes, and fake insects. Last April Fool's Day JJ even delighted her class by bringing her favorite prank to school. She offered her teacher a chocolate chip cookie lying on the tray of her wheelchair. When the teacher picked it up and saw the fake cockroach underneath it, her surprised scream had the entire second grade in stitches.
Other Ideas:
JJ just received a new device through a local non-profit called Variety KC. The EyeTuitive is an eye-gaze camera that attaches onto an iPad. She is now learning how to use her eye-gaze skills to navigate around on different apps. When her friends are over, for example, she can now open up her YouTube Music playlist or favorite Netflix show (currently The Great British Baking Show). She also has several cooking and fashion games she is learning to play as well as some muscial instruments.
A presentation to your child's gen ed class can explain their communication method(s), communication journey, diagnosis, interests, etc. For example, we did a presentation about JJ's communication journey in her second grade classroom. We included switch-adapted buttons with pre-recorded phrases that she used before she got her AAC device. Her classmates loved testing them out. They also enjoyed learning about how her AAC device functions and now have a much better appreciation of how hard she works to communicate.
Use fashion as a way for your child to express their personality. Most days JJ picks her outfits and accessories from head to toe. Her fun combinations, holiday themes, matching colors, and fancy accessories are often a hit with the kids in her grade. At recess she also rotates between a few pairs of very fashionable sunglasses and keeps a few sets of shades in her wheelchair bag to share with friends.
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